The Dudley Dee Fan Magazine

Dudley Dee, the rising star of the horror thriller He Can't Trim His Toenails and last year's controversial race drama Ripe For Pickin', has signed a three-film deal with Cool Cricket Pictures.

The multimillionaire hunk will play an action hero with a mysterious past in the first of the planned big-budget flicks, currently known only as Untitled Woody Allen Fall Project.

Dudley Dee grew up in a house and before becoming an actor did some other stuff. A Hollywood agent discovered Dudley in the cereal aisle at the 98 Cents store. After a bit part on "Tales of the Cool Cricket" as a cab driver, he went on to the soft-core 9 1/2 Inches with Kim Basinger and since then has
seen his career skyrocket.

Dudley Dee Facts

height: 5'3"

weight: 120-220 (diets two weeks before filming)

favorite color: plaid

birthday: 10-11-67 (how does he stay so youthful?)

favorite movie: Seamen of Bangkok II: Boys on Leave

marital status: single (the door's open, gals!)

Above: Dudley receives a disturbing phone call in He Can't Trim His Toenails.

Lucky fan Liza Rowls, a reporter for the Crooked Corners Gazette, had fortune on her side recently when she actually saw Dudley Dee in person.

Although scheduled to meet the actor for an interview, Ms. Rowls almost missed her chance because traffic was bad that day and the odds were against his showing up. Ms. Rowls had a zucchini crumbcake in the oven and was about to leave when he walked through the door.

"I almost passed right by him," Ms. Rowls gushed.

The interview did not take place due to Dudley's adamant insistence that the camera be moved to his right side, a stipulation of his contract. Because it would take several hours to dismantle the wall beside the interview chair, Ms. Rowls had to cancel and get home to her crumbcake.

All that aside, the important question is: Did he make a good impression? Ms. Rowls response was a resounding, "Sure, I guess."

Collector Memorabilia! For Sale! To You!

Dudley Dee Action Figure with corkscrew: $9.99

Dudley Dee T-shirt (not worn by the actor): $17

anatomically correct Dudley Dee soap-on-a-rope:
(sold out)

"The Official Unauthorized Dudley Dee Biography"
by Sinclair Growden: $21 hardback

Dudley Dee's "Vocal Jazz Interpretations of Puccini"
two-CD boxed set: $30

autographed Pizza Hut napkin: $200

Oh, Dudley Dee, You're So Dreamy!